“How do I tell my child?”

It’s something no one ever wants to face – yet knowing how to approach it can make an enormous difference to a child’s sense of safety, understanding and emotional wellbeing.

Below is the guidance. In the hope it brings comfort, clarity and support to anyone navigating this heartbreaking moment. 💚

💚Telling children about the loss of someone special is unbelievably hard and scary. Here are some things that may support you in such a task:

💚Use the language that we, as adults, avoid. Words such as 'died', 'dying' and 'dead'. 'Gone' or 'passed away' may make a young child think their loved one is coming back. 'Gone to sleep' can cause fear and anxiety for the child – about themselves and others they love around bedtime.

💚Say something like this – which is kind yet also states the facts. 'Something really sad has happened. Someone special has died.'

💚The child may not react as you expect, they may not 'seem bothered', it's important not to make them feel shame around how they're processing such news. It is their inbuilt self-protection to jump out of feelings that feel too hard, too big and too deep.

💚You can't make it better, but you can make it safe. Reiterate that they can speak to you at any time, ask any questions they need, sit quiet or come for a cuddle.

💚It's OK if you cry. Explain that it's very sad and you are very sad too. They can feel sad too. You don't need to find a positive in the situation.

💚Support them if they are angry and shout, - tell them you understand and want to shout too.

💚Older children may retreat to younger behaviours, needing to feel safe and protected.

💚They may not want to hear what you're saying. It's OK to take it at their pace.

💚Being there, being open, creating a safe space is the main thing.

💚Be kind to yourself too. You're doing a great job!

💚There are many great books and activities to do which I can share with you.

💚My thoughts are with everyone who has to have a heartbreaking conversation with their children.ntly awaiting content.

If you need further support, please contact Mrs Ali and Mrs Linley.